It’s a Sunday and I just spent time with my grandmother. Just a simple chat with her after my dinner, like a quick update on my life.
I feel very heart broken each time I chat with my grandmother as she keeps saying how she might not last till I get married.
Of all my family members, I only feel this way for my grandmother. It’s like she’s the only one who really cared for me. It’s sad but somehow, I keep feeling like the rest of my family doesn’t really give a damn.
You know, the middle child syndrome. It’s the same as with the other posts from before.
In any case, I had a quick relapse of this disappointed feeling last night and has a short chat with my fiance last night. It’s not the first time she heard this and in fact, she had felt so saddened by it that she had cried over it before. I agree with her, it’s sad that I should think about my family this way, but unfortunately, it’s something which I am experiencing. It’s hard to just change my mind like that, it’s not like I’m some third party looking at my own life and making comments or advise about it.
Anyway, enough about that. Just wanted to get it out of my system.
Yesterday I changed the layout of my room to make for more space, in anticipation of staying with my parents after marriage, before I get my own place. It’s ironic how things will look like in the future, assuming the scenario that I get married and stay together with my parents, in the smallest room, while my other siblings …….
Seriously, fuck this, I shouldn’t be blogging about these kind of fucked up shit. I’ll just have to keep on working hard towards getting my own place.
Sigh.
