As I was cruising along after dropping my gf home, my thoughts wandered a little and I thought I might want to blog this down.
I was thinking about how time flies. I’m not that young and agile anymore; friends are getting married; friend is leaving Singapore etc etc. Time changes even the stories I tell; stories about myself that no longer was about 1 and a half years ago, but now have become 2 years. Then I thought of my own life, and how it seemed only like yesterday while I was still having fun and partying like no tomorrow, meeting girls and flirting with them; falling in and out of love…
At which point, I thought about this “falling in and out of love” and realised that, back then, I have had a huge load of crushes, but not much love at all. If any, it was lust. And then I felt ashamed to have even dared mention “Love” back then. I kid you not but while I was in the car, I seriously felt awful, like as if I had desecrated a sacred principle of mine.
And I recalled all the pretty drawings which I had drawn, almost one for every girl I have met. It’s great in a way that the emotional energies were put to great creative use, but yet, I don’t want to say they were inspired by love.
But perhaps the whole thing was a journey. And only now with my current girlfriend that I have realised it. Like a child discovering the world for the first time, he doesn’t know what a rose looks like till he sees the real thing. And so as I walked along, I learned that each flower wasn’t a rose till the real rose comes along. It might still be early to say that I have found love, but for sure I’ve learned that it’s a journey. And I can raise my head high to say that, to everyone before, it sure wasn’t love 
ps. As a guy, I think it’s fair to lust, as long as you don’t do anything about it. I’m sure the girls do it too 
