Another month has gone by

January has come to its end. And I’m still the same, I think.

Work hasn’t been fruitful, hopefully this Friday onwards it would be. These few days have been spent reading alot of materials and surfing. And those days where I was working from home or out of office, I did some pictures (as per the previous posts).

Perhaps this week was particularly draggy since I was pretty much injured last week from golf and blading. I’m not afraid of the pain and I would carry on this week, but I’m thinking, in the long run, I still do want to play golf and blade, so I decided that I should lay off those two this week in case I permanently diasble myself from coming near them ever again.

Today was spent at my company’s office near Bugis instead since I was heading to the gym at Suntec in the evening. Was shopping around waiting for some friends to join me at the gym (who eventually didn’t turn up) and I bought myself wristguards for blading. Right now at this very moment (Wednesday night, 31st Jan, 10:20pm), I’m controlling myself from heading downstairs with the blades and the new pair of wristguards lol. My tailbone still feels bruised, but I’m alright everywhere else. I could really just fall forward instead from now on you know… LOL. Ok I shan’t. Gym has been rather good and I’m feeling the effects from it already… feel like lying back in a reclining chair and having a sheesha…

Ah well, instead, I shall wait for my friend to let me know if he’s up for coffee!

30th January 2007

Stark reminder that it’s the eve of my ex’s birthday. Wishing her a Happy Birthday and may all her wishes come true.

Anyway, today has been an eventful day: Spent the first half of the day working from home, then the 2nd half working with a friend at Starbucks (yes the Starbucks which I have not been back for the longest time). I must admit, working at Starbucks is rather productive, somehow. I don’t really know why. I suspect that it’s partly because of the peer pressure, that me and my friend agreed to get things done and not talk cock while we were there. On the contrary, home was really relaxing to work from, but it lacked a certain pressure to focus more on my work. And so I ended up working on another piece of drawing today:

I had this idea for sometime already. I don’t think it’s perfect yet, I still might do some changes to it. It just seems lacking. In fact, the whole picture itself isn’t satisfactory. The idea is like that but I don’t think I justified that idea with what I have drawn.

Salsa in the evening was fantastic. A new move and had endless practise at Union Square after class. I think I got that move right after countless tries but yet not smoooooooooth enough lol. I suspect I’ll probably be thinking about it over and over again for the whole week till next week. Seriously, now I can’t help but think of Salsaing every night. The perfectionist side of me is kicking in… wait, will I get injured in Salsa? lol, can’t afford anymore injuries after golfing and blading lol.

Ah well, it’s been a rather eventful day. Good enough for me, hope I can make gym and a movie happen tomorrow.

Speechless. Stunned. Awed

One day… one day…..

Miracle Healing

My butt doesn’t hurt as much anymore, my palm is recovering really fast. All that’s really bothering is my tailbone, but it isn’t affecting me alot.

That’s a good sign, I think I heal fast. Perhaps it was due to the rest I got the whole day. I was home the whole day doing another drawing and this was what I did (another friend’s request from quite some time back):

Yeah, I know it’s a little crude, but hey, it’s my friend’s request lol. Putting the crudeness aside, I think it’s a pretty good job done! 

Anyway, just got back from a social dance event at Chijmes organised by my dance school. Watching the performances was inspiring, watching the other pro dancers were inspiring as well. But much of the event was just my classmates and I practising. I don’t mind really, I wasn’t really tired, just feeling a little hot. But what was bothering me was that I think I’m ready to learn new moves. I hope the class will pick up on tuesday, ie. less talking cock in class and more being taught and practised lol.

Painful Clubbing, more ways than one

Last night was terrible. I shouldn’t have gone to Zouk just because it was free. I should have considered that I was really tired, had a headache, aching butt, hurting tail bone, sore palm and just so not in the mood. Music wasn’t fantastic either. And I was in phuture as well. OMG the shitloads of 18 year old NS boys. I refrain from using more degratory terms considering I was once from that organisation…

Anyway, I woke up this morning to a really bad tailbone. I could barely get out of bed. And I still had to climb down from the 2nd deck…

Painfully Fun

Blading. Third time in my life. Fell 3 times. Hard.

Right palm banged up and swollen. Left palm abraded. Left hip, left butt and tailbone banged up. Painful.

Yet amidst the shitload of pain, it’s been rather fun!

First Real Attempt At Illustrator

I spent the day working from home. Although I wouldn’t say it’s very productive, I got other things done. Like I spent some free time playing with Adobde Illustrator. And boy am I glad I did. I churned out 3 pieces of drawing today and I’m getting the hang of it. And they all look pretty damn good. All 3 were for 3 different friends and I’m kinda proud of it. That probably explains for the happy mood.

Here they are. I apologise for the paranoia for having it ripped off, so I watermarked it, reduced it’s size and added noise. And I blurred my friend’s name out for anonymity. LOL kiasu:

               

Alamak, suddenly so many drawings and projects I want to do for people, lol, wish I was doing it full time

I wanna buy a hat!

I want to buy a hat. If you call that a hat.

It’s this hat below

 

Rationale: First step to being pro is to look pro.

Step, step, count, count

For the whole day, I couldn’t get salsa out of my head. The whole day wherever I went, I was just stepping around in the salsa steps.

step…step…step…

1…2…3… …5…6…7… …

Looking forward to Sunday. Some dance event at Chjimes. At least, at the very least, it’s something to look forward to.

Behold! The Night Mare approaches!

Shit.

I tremble in fear.

Why?

Because I have read all the comics in my Sandman book.

I’m done with what I have.

Already, it’s twilight, and it’s time to sleep.

What shall I tell the Sandman?

That I am done with the book?

Beg him for more?

Will he oblige?

Or will he make me tremble in fear in my own nightmares for not idolising him enough?

I want to meet the Sandman so much, yet I’m so scared…

I fear. I fear for tonight, and the rest of my nights…

ps. I just finished my Sandman book la. knn

Disappointed, disappointed.

Yes I was. Quite.

Went to play golf and I changed a record number of swings. And I still couldn’t get my distance for my iron. And then I kind of, erm, as usual, erm, aggravated a certain, area on my body.

Disappointed lor. Plus I didn’t have my dose of ego from my driver shots.

Disappointed.

Then again, I think I already felt this way since early afternoon…

tsk.

The hardest part is when you’re in it

On the way home last night, I heard this song over the radio. It’s been awhile since I last heard it (like years) and when it played, I suddenly remembered it’s one of those awesome songs of old which had slipped my mind to get a hold of it.

And it’s so sweet in it’s little own way, the tunes so soft and relaxing and it’s oh, so true.

I’ve Been In Love Before by The Cutting Crew

Catch my breath close my eyes
Don’t believe a word
Things she said overheard
Something wrong inside
It’s you admit it
Then you know you’re in it

I’ve been in love before
I’ve been in love before
The hardest part is when you’re in it
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been in love before

Just one touch just one look
A dangerous dance
One small word can make me feel
Like running away
You can’t say you’re in it no
Until you reach the limit

I’ve been in love before
I’ve been in love before
The hardest part is when you’re in it
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been in love before

I’ve been in love before
I’ve been in love before
The hardest part is when you’re in it
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been in love before

I’ve been in love
The hardest part is when you’re in it
I’ve been in love
I’ve been in love before

Dance and Music

I think Salsa is catching on to me. I’m beginning to enjoy it quite alot. And I’m beginning to foresee myself learning other types of dances. Like the sexy Bachata. I kinda found that dance a little hard to swallow last week. This week, it felt different.

Aside from golf, all I can think of is to dance everyday. Beginning to get impatient from the once a week lessons. Too slow, too slow…

Anyway, I went to a friend’s place to play with her keyboard today. More like to practice the only two songs I know how to play on the keyboard, Minuet and Canon. Sweet memories it brought back, but somehow, I was more focused on getting it right. I don’t really want to lose my touch on playing them, especially since I have never learned how to play the piano before. Sometimes I wish I had space to place a keyboard at home to play with. Sigh, it’s alright, my other alternative is to just head down to Carrefour and play with their display sets LOL.

Perhaps, just perhaps, I might play it for someone someday. And maybe dance with that someone too. For now, I’ll just dream about it, hope Morpheus is kind enough to let me have one of those dreams.

Sandman Rocks!

The Return to Innocence

I am compelled to blog this tonight after catching Pan’s Labyrinth.

In a torn world, there’s still a little bit of innocence in everyone. A little dream, whether it is fantastical or simple, of ideals and hope, that makes up the remnant of whatever innocence we have left after toiling through our lives. Despite the hurt, pain, loss and sorrow; despite the despair, bitterness and jadedness of coming through the ugliness of reality, all we really want is that tiny fragment of a dream that burns forever in the bottom of our hearts. If we search deep into our souls, it lingers there till the last beat, but unfortunately, as we walk through the wounded path of life, it clouds our eyes so much, that we forget, we still have a little innocent child hiding amongst the fear.

And as death approaches, sometimes it’s too late, or sometimes, it really brings out the child within.

The cool breeze that blew across my face as I walked home magically played Enigma’s Return to Innocence on my iPod. It couldn’t have been more coincidental, or it could just as well be the kid within me and his little innocent magic.

Love – Devotion
Feeling – Emotion
Don’t be afraid to be weak
Don’t be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don’t hide
Just believe in destiny
Don’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and miss the chance
To return to innocence
That’s not the beginning of the end
That’s the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don’t care what people say
Follow just your own way Follow just your own way
Don’t give up, don’t give up
To return, to return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don’t hide
Just believe in destiny
that’s the return to innocence

Coffee always rocks

In the end I went for coffee!

Golf Fatigue

Today, I went for 9 holes with my parents. I’m not too bad seriously, if I wasn’t so tired…

I’m seriously quite tired.

Thoughtful void

Thought I might want to post one thought despite the lack of my wordy mood.

I have been feeling rather empty lately. Or rather full. Full of wanting to love someone, yet empty because I don’t really have someone to love. Honestly, people tell me I can love my family and friends. Thing is, I do. To my family and friends, I will give as much love as I can give.

Still I cannot deny this void.

And as I think about it, I don’t really ask someone for a listening ear.

How did that void lead to that? It’s because I realise that the issue I have is no different from a million people out there. I’m just another walking statistic, another problem that has been recorded in the minds of society; another problem that everyone has probably heard before from that someone else has. So I end up thinking that, there’s no point asking for a listening ear, because I’ll end up with the same advice that everyone gives to that other person who has a problem just like that. And I’m as good as dispensing that advise to myself. The closest I have to a listening ear, is when people listen to me as I tell it more like a story instead of a depressing incident in my life. I still feel good about it after telling it as a story, still works the same for me.

Ends up I’m telling stories all the time, captivating the listener, and no one is really afraid to listen because at the end of the stories, people instinctively close the book and the story has been heard and has ended.

Anyway, it feels good to be able to be a listening ear to my friends. If I can’t be of any help to a solution, at least, I’m useful in listening and offering comfort.

Hmmmm… comfort.

Not Wordy.

Note: My golf is slowly attaining greater heights.

Anyway, I didn’t blog on Friday, considering that not much happened the whole day since I was stuck at my company’s yearly kick off event. Was involved in ushering the crowd and some dance item in which my friends and I were like backup dancers. Went to the range alone after that in the night just to release some itch since I had stayed away from golf the whole week.

Saturday morning, 3am, I gave my friend a ride to the airport and sent her off. Gonna miss not having her around. No doubt I was tired by the time I drove home, I feel it was the least I could do, considering I don’t know when I’ll see her again.

Woke up at about 10 plus 11 after sleeping at 6. Then I fetched my sister home from school. Had a poignant little moment with my sister in the afternoon at home. Kinda lazy to type it out now. Why? Because I am feeling a little tired, just got home from a night out with some foreign friends at St James. And the driving range in the afternoon (in which I realised greater potential in my golf) at Tg Rhu is adding to my fatigue. Had a little chat with a friend who was a little down while sending her home after St James. Got to thank her for accompanying me while I brought my foreign friends out.

That’s it. Today not typing long wordy posts.

In the same old haunts, I still find my friends

Today.

Met a friend whom I have kept in contact but have not met in 3 years.

A friend, a very dear friend who migrated for Australia back then. She made a trip back and I made sure I must meet her. An elder sister who I wish I had.

I don’t think there’s much that can describe how I miss her company years ago, but she’s going to go back again.

Oh well, the world is small, chances are a plenty.

And even when she came back, she can still introduce something new to me, in a form of a bar in Singapore which I had never visted before. The bar, despite the few shortcomings, had the most exquisite rustic ambience which I actually do enjoy alot. I won’t be going back there often though, but sigh, I feel it would be great to have her in Singapore to hang out with.

Instead, perhaps it would be a drive to make my way to Australia and meet her instead!

Life is getting monotonous. Shit.

Today I worked from home again for the morning, and headed for a meeting in Tampines in the afternoon.

I only realised much later (after the presentation) that I was presenting to a customer and he’s like a boss there. It wasn’t as if I had not considered it the night before, but rather, I was too caught up in another piece of work to really spare thought into preparing for that presentation. Afterall, it was a simple piece of explanation, slides would be overkill.

Still, on the taxi back from Tampines to my office, I wondered whether I was nonchalant or confident. Or was I too bogged to bother? Even now, I’m really too tired to think. I just completed that work which had made me too busy to think about the presentation, and sent it out. And I’m expecting more to come out of it; I don’t think I have seen the end of it yet.  Which brings to mind that there’s going to be more work in the near future from the meeting I had.

Going to be involved in the company’s annual kick-off event, that’s why I had to head back to office after my meeting in Tampines. Going to be dancing on stage as backup… how fun. It ended at about 730pm and I headed straight home to get my work done. Finally, done at 2am. I bet more issues will surface tomorrow…

Dinner was 2 packets of instant mee goreng, an egg and left over duck. LOL. I think it was awesome though. Right. Need sleep… Gonna oversleep again LOL