My Intuitions

I am amazed sometimes how I predict things into the future. I wonder whether it happened because I predicted it. Or it really just happened and I really could predict. I tend to have intuitive feelings and then automatically gear myself for whatever that comes. It’s like always planning ahead, it’s like playing devil’s advocate, but with certain deadly accuracy.

I went through my head the things I had predicted. Then I got VERY VERY FUCKED UP. I GOT PISSED ANGRY. I SCREAMED AND SHOUTED IN MY HEAD, RAISED MY FIST IN ANGER AND SCREAMED INTO THE FUCKING SKY:

GOD OH GOD YOU! WHY? WHY?! WHY I NEVER PREDICT TOTO AND 4D!??!?!?!

Stardust

Neil Gaiman has a rather intricate sense of humour. Complex even. Or maybe this thing called Fate which the whole world bows down to has finally materialised into some god and started wrecking havoc on the world. I was on the train, reading Stardust, and the freakiest coincidence happened.

I mean, who would have expected Tristan Thorn to journey for the fallen star to give to Victoria Forest, only to find that Victoria had already given her hand to Mr Monday? But Tristan had wished Victoria of what he desired, and he desired that she was happy with Monday, and he went back to be with Yvaine.

I had thought of reproducing that part here, but I guess not. His books should be read proper. But the most tinglish sensation washed over me when I was reading it on the train, and the WIDEST grin spread over my face. It made my day. It sure as God Damn Fucking Hell made my day LOL.

Oops I did it again

LOL. Yups. She did it again.

My friend was right, it was the fattest and juciest can of worms, sure tasted nastily good.

Can’t help but feel the ironical humour of it all haha.

Kopi-Gao-Siu-Dai

Thought: You see, it’s difficult to drain an ocean that was slowly filled over 6 years.

So today I was slightly  bothered by last night’s conversation. And the meeting I had earlier wasn’t helping much. I went blur. LOL

Took my lunch with just one curry puff, a Kopi-Gao-Siu-Dai and 2 happy sticks, then I felt better.

If it wasn’t for the weather, I would have gladly sat there the whole lunch hour writing this in solitude (I brought my paper and pen!).

In reflection, I love the friends I have. My friend G made the bestest point I have heard and I felt abnormally good after.

So I wrote in my msn personal message “I love my friends so much I could … nmind”.

And someone ask me “could what?”

Then I got cheeky and said “perform sexual favours. LOL”. This I got to thank another friend D for. LOL

Messages

It’s an interesting night. I just had a conversation with my ex on msn. It’s sad that she only realises things too late. Then again, the word “realise” really had a “too late” tone to it. But still, I’m happy for her that she realises it. True, I don’t deny I’m sad, I don’t deny my heart does sulk a little, but like I said to her, if by being a friend I can be of better help, then it’s better off that way. In a way, I haven’t really been true to her, in the sense that I never showed her the real me, and in the end when I tried to enforce the rational side, things fell apart. I have learned a lesson too from this relationship: Love is never enough. Not really in a cynical way, but in a honest way. You can’t just be loving and giving in to someone all the time. It’s about acceptance, forgiveness, trust and respect. It should go something along the lines of

“Honey I don’t really like you doing this and this”

“Ok, I shall try not to do it.”

It’s like a simple conversation with all 4 aspects in it. I’m really kind of tired right now to explain this, and I think it would be better for any reader to discover how they fit in in that two lines above. It became for me that I was so indulgent in the mentality that love can solve everything, but eventually it was also the root to the problem.

But it was weird when she found it weird when I said certain things. Like I “pulled myself out” last week, that was weird. And “ruling out possibilities”, that was weird too. Hmm, I wonder how else I could rephrase it. I meant it when I said I am not ruling her out as a possibility. I’m quite forgiving, so much that my friends find it difficult to accept sometimes. I had said that I wasn’t going to wait though, and if I find someone who can make me feel again so strongly for, I would go all out for her. It was a tough but valuable lesson learnt from another female friend last week, the lesson of discovering that I could really give without fear. The tough part was the realisation that the strong feeling I felt was all wrong LOL.

It is really sad (not for me, honestly more for her) that she couldn’t take up my dinner offer. If there’s any wishing for the best, I think she would need it more than me. I know (I hope) she would be reading this, and this is honestly what I feel: tread carefully and learn to control and hold back your feelings and emotions; If you just let go too fast, you may fall very hard.

But remember, I’ll always have free listening ears and FREE HUGS!

Hugs

I’m feeling lucky. I was thinking, as much as I would give anyone a hug anytime they need one, I gave thought on who would give me a hug when I needed one. And I was glad I thought about that, because, I know I have friends who will give me a hug when I need it. I got one from my friend today! It felt soothing, she’s so huggable. And another friend who was worried for me said she would give me one before she leaves.

So for the simplest things in life, I think I’m fortunate. And I’m sharing it, so anyone who needs a free hug, just ring my bell

Major Incontinency

No, not me LOL, but I saw the funniest thing happen today.

I was in 7-11 and then all of the sudden, there was this tall angmoh, who suddenly dashed out after paying for his stuff. I noticed his pants were wet all the way down. The cashier called him back for his receipt, and he stopped, almost slipping, turned back and grabbed the receipt and ran off again.

Then the whole place started to stink…….

My friend and I thought it would be pretty funny to see someone fall and break something on his own pee.