This is worrying. I have had a few fleeting thoughts through the day, including before falling asleep last night, but I can’t seem to remember them. They could have turned into beautiful stories or poems that could reflect my life with a poignancy that could be felt for all eternity. And that has been a cause of concern to me of late. I have been without ideas for a short story recently, also quite possibly from the lack of time, also quite possibly from my furious explosion of posts (which inevitably drained me) and just as possible, from the lack of emotions of late.
I somehow have managed to kill myself off entirely from last week’s episode. Imagine falling into a deep hole. Deeper than 6 feet mind you (pun intended, in more ways than one 
). Then slowly but surely, perhaps even being a experienced rock climber, and strong and energetic, you crawl up with confidence and the light above is so bright and appealing. Then suddenly, on your way up, you see a nice little eldeweiss by the side.
Now that is weird. Really weird. Because you know that eldeweiss grows on mountain tops. And you are stuck in a deep dark abyss, deeper than 6 feet I reiterate. But despite knowing everything around, that eldeweiss was sparkling in the thin ray of light that was streaming down, illuminating a dew gracing its petals at the most perfect and precise angle. The moment was simply ecstatic, the sight was beyond the words of heaven. It was as if God had shown you a sign, although you wouldn’t really fully understand that sign, but you would say it’s a sign and just accepted that it was all good (despite the possibility that God give signs for bad omens as well). It nodded gently in a gentle draft from some unseen hole from below, teasing the dewdrop, scattering the light like a million faceted diamond into your eyes.
Possibly blinded, possibly greedy. Possibly touched and mind-numbed beyond words. Possibly bewitched. Of all the thousand possibilities that exists, only one thing was definite. You just had to get to that flower. Maybe you will pluck it, or leave it there. Maybe all you wanted was just to examine it closer and absorb all its beauty into a safely kept memory in your mind. Maybe you want to plant it a kiss. Ho ho, maybe that was another pun. And in that most precise and exact moment when the most definite decision was made, the first attempt to climb over, simply had to fail, among the millions of other possibilities of success.
So you slip as you catch a last glimpse of that innocent little eldeweiss, nodding in the draft, still teasing a million colors into your eye with a single dewdrop. You couldn’t help but smile as you fall, for you have caught the most beautiful thing you will ever see on the way to the top. And considering that you are falling all the way down again, you can’t help but think that that flower would be the only beautiful thing left in this world your eyes will set upon.
